how i learned to accept myself

For most of my life, I have struggled with trying to develop more self-love within myself and slowly but surely I have started to accept myself much more. When I was younger, I felt like I never really fit into a group and I kind of just jumped around from group to group. However, I've come to realize that we weren't created to fit into one single mold that society sets for us. I am excited to share with you some of the things I have learned on this journey towards true self-love and self-acceptance.

1. Embrace your "flaws". First off, understand that what you see as flaws within yourself aren't really flaws at all. My mom would always remind me that God doesn't make mistakes when he creates us, and we were not created with flaws, we were created to be different and be our own person. I used to be really insecure about my looks, my teeth aren't straight, and my hair is shorter than I would like. However, I've learned that if you focus on your flaws you will find them. What I mean by this is that if you sit in front of the mirror and look at yourself in a critical way, you will focus on all of your flaws. A great way to combat this is whenever you are looking at yourself and you see a flaw, look at something you like in yourself. Sometimes when I don't like the way my hair looks, I'll say "oh my eye makeup looks nice today" or anything that will take my attention off the negative aspects of my appearance and focus on the good. Another important thing to remember is that there is someone out there who will see all of your perceived flaws as what makes you beautiful and unique. 
2. Don't let social media become your standard. With the prevalence of social media nowadays, it is SO easy to look at the pictures on your feed and become envious of what they're doing compared to you.You need to remember that people aren't going to post pictures that don't look good. They aren't going to post an ugly picture of themselves or what they are doing, so you can't compare you sitting in bed scrolling through Instagram, while binge watching Gossip Girl, to one of your friends in Cabo drinking margaritas on the beach; that just isn't fair for you. I understand how easy it is to wish you had Kendall Jenner's life, but just try to remember that you are two totally different people and remember that God just has a different path for you that's coming a little later in your life. 
3. Keep your circle small. Y'all this might be one of my most important tips ever. If you take away one thing from this post, listen to this. As we mature, we naturally lose friends, most of the time we just outgrow each other and move on to different things. However, sometimes we have some friends that aren't really helping us get to where we want to go. I'm not saying that friendship is used for personal gain, but when people are holding you back you can't hesitate to cut them off. You need to surround yourself with people who have the same mindset as you do so y'all can grow together and work together to each of your dreams. Personally, I consider myself really ambitious. I took four AP classes my senior year, played varsity basketball, graduated with a 5.0, and I was an intern at one of the largest news channels in Dallas. I take what I do very seriously and I don't settle for anything less than my absolute best. However, I had been friends with some people since freshman year and I realized, as I grew up, that by surrounding myself with them I was surrounding myself with people who didn't challenge themselves, and was fine with settling for average. All in all, they just made me feel like I had to change who I was when I was with them and I hated that. You don't need a huge group of friends, just a handful that will help you to get to where you want to go and you can help them do the same. 
4. You're not a final product yet. We are all work-in-progresses. You can't compare where you are right now to where someone else is. We are all constantly growing and changing at different rates and you need to understand that we all have a long way to go and no one is every truly done growing. By growing, I don't just mean physical appearance, but mentally, emotionally, and spiritually as well. Don't let your growth rate discourage you and learn to love where you are right now and be grateful for where you were a week ago, or a month ago.

I definitely wouldn't say that I have truly learned how to accept myself and that I am 100% confident with who I am right now. However, I know that I have come a long way from where I was in the past and I am very proud of that. My advice to you would be to not compare yourself to other people and don't be afraid to cut that grass and keep those snakes out of your yard if y'all know what I mean! Use the energy you would normally use on thinking negative thoughts about yourself and use that energy to be productive and better yourself in some way. I hope that one day all of us will be able to truly find self-love and self-acceptance without ourselves. Comment how y'all are feeling about my tips and your journey to self-acceptance!